94 - ARABY 2

12.11.06

A deranged animatronic display, a’la chucky cheese.
Some dopey kid actually puts a quarter in.

COTTON CANDY
Do you remember when you and me were best friends? We were BFF, BF/BF, GF/GF & BF/GF. We would pretend that I was bubblegum or fields of electric raspberries. You’d smack your lips and lick your sticky fingers up and down my cone. So what happened? How come I never see you anymore?

BBQ CHICKEN LEG
CHK! CHK! CHK-INNNNNN! CHK CHK! CHK CHK! CHK CHK CHK’NNNNN!!!

FUNNEL CAKE
I have a million different names. Carnival cones, elephant ears, funnel cakes – so long as I’m deep fried and floating in powdered sugar, you know me well enough.

PRETZLE
I’M ALL TWISTED! I…CAN’T…GET OUT OF THIS KNOT! GET THAT SALT AWAY FROM ME! THAT CHEESE IS MOLTEN LAVA! AKK! AH! AUGH!!!!!!

WATERMELON
*spits*

BUTTERY EAR OF CORN
I’m thickly sticking betwixt your twitching lips so rip your gums and grab some tums cause here I come my little one um…um…ohh peel me beneath your yella teeth with butter sauce so grab your floss and squiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmm.

BEER
Ughhghhggeverybody in the right place? Makin’ a stra-git line? Onefootrightfoottwofootleftfoot OODahlalley-OODahlalley everybody march!

BEER strikes up the band. The FOOD accompanies its own song. The dopey kid exits frightened, if (s)he hasn’t already.

FOOD
BELCHINFARTINSTOPPINSTARTIN’
THE CARNIVOLE IS FULL OF HOLES
AND SUG’RY TEETH ARE TART ‘N SMARTIN’

YOU AND ME THE CALLIOPE
WHATCHOO CHEW IS FUTURE POO
AND WHAT’CHOO DRINK IS GONNA BE PEE

CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP
WIZZ WIZZ WIZZ
THAT’S THE WAY IT IS IT IS
SAVE YOUR DIMES AND MUNCH SELL YOUR GOWNS
CAUSE THE ARABY’S COMING TOO TOWN!-

WATERMELON
*spits*

The animatronics go motionless. Pray no one pays again.