91 - BUSTED

12.8.06

The AUDIENCE lines up in a row with their backs one yard from a big brick wall. They are made to do so by OFFICERS, lead by OFFICER BUSTIER. Sprinkled throughout the AUDIENCE are THE BUSTED. When THE BUSTED are discovered, they are turned around and pressed against the wall. THE BUSTED find this both amusing and upsetting. The OFFICERS do their best to keep everyone quiet. THE BUSTED try to lead the AUDIENCE in song. This infuriates OFFICER BUSTIER. The OFFICERS try to keep the audience from looking back and witnessing them mistreat THE BUSTED. OFFICER BUSTIER abandons the situation completely. THE BUSTED moon the OFFICERS. Lights shift.


The AUDIENCE sits on the floor facing the wall. THE BUSTED are gone. Only one OFFICER remains. The other OFFICERS have fled or are now invisible. The OFFICER is backed up against a wall. Spotlight:

OFFICER
I didn’t mean to do it.
Of course I meant to, but I didn’t mean for it to be a bad thing.
One thing, you know, leads on to another.
I’m sorry.
I know that apologizing and saying I didn’t mean to do something isn’t adequate.
I know I have to take responsibility for what I’ve done.
I know that I was wrong.

A mob made out of THE BUSTED rushes in and carries the OFFICER away, whose cries can be heard in the distance. Enter OFFICER BUSTIER, holding a photo of the kidnapped OFFICER.

OFFICER BUSTIER
I’ve come to make a brief statement, after which time I will take your questions.
Ahem.
At approximately twenty-hundred hours this evening, a routine round up of a local band of street thugs took place. The department received a complaint of aggravated abuse on the part of the Officers involved, and a full investigation is under way.
However, an incident of somewhat greater importance to the department occurred during the round up, when one of our own Officers was taken hostage by members of the very same gang that (she/he) was working to apprehend.
Excuse me.
The Hostage’s name is Officer Rico, and (he/she) is a two-year veteran of the squad, working directly under me. (she/he)’s a good Officer and we’ll bring (him/her) home soon. I have a photo, which I will display at this time.
That is all.
I will not take any questions.

The press conferance ends. Nothing is accomplished.