76

11.23.06

A large silver dish with a silver cover. The theme from “Seinfeld” plays in the background. Lights up. The cover is removed.

A middle aged comedian looks on with fear. Screams.

The sound of dozens of hungry turkeys licking their lips. A giant fork and knife descend over the dish. Lights out.

Lights up. The comedian, dressed as a stereotypical “Indian” (complete with a single feather and war paint) does a fake rain dance. Interrupting the proceedings, a turkey dressed as a pilgrim enters and blows the Indian away with a musket. Lights out.

“Over the river and through the woods” begins to play. The comedian enters with a “family.” They “drive their car” to “grandmother’s house.” A veil is lifted, revealing a map of America, each state or region being held up by a non-descript person. The states/regions do a dance with the comedian and his “family” as they drive through America. After the comedian passes each state/region, the respective non-descript person begins to cough, gag, weeze, vomit and choke to death. The comedian and “family” hop over the dead bodies unaware that anything really awful has happened, until the comedian trips on one of them.

CURTAIN CALL
All the performers stand in a row, blow one big kiss to the audience and shout (in the manner of a 1st grade classroom)

PERFORMERS
THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH!