103 - Random Acts of Violins

12.20.06

The following is enacted by performers with violins. They do not speak, but rather interpret their lines with their instruments. A libretto is handed to the audience, or, the text is projected behind the action of the piece.

111111
Morning.

222222
Good morning.

111111
Jesus I’m tired.

222222
Did you sleep well?

111111
(Yawns) I thought I did, but I’m still sleepy as all hell.

222222
I slept like a rock.

111111
I can tell. Where are the grape nuts?

222222
Hmm? What was that?

111111
What happened to all the grape nuts?

222222
oh…sorry. This is the last bowl.

111111
You don’t even like grape nuts!

222222
Yeah I do.

111111
Fine…do we have any cheerios?

222222
I think all we have are fruity pebbles.

111111
I hate fruity pebbles.

222222
I’m sorry. Do you want me to make you some eggs?

111111
No, I’ll just eat the fruity pebbles.

222222
Ok, sweetie. You let me know if you want anything else.

111111
Where’s all the soymilk?

222222
In the door.

111111
I see this one, but there’s like two drops left in it.

222222
It looked like more when I put it back.

111111
This is all the soymilk. You used all the soymilk on my cereal.

222222
Here, I’ll make you some eggs.

111111
I don’t want eggs, I want grape nuts in soymilk.

222222
I said I was sorry!

111111
You’re not sorry, you aren’t even lactose intolerant!

222222
There’s other food without milk you could have for breakfast! I said I would make you eggs! I could make you anything you want!

111111
I don’t want just anything, I want what I want!

222222
Why should you get what you want?

111111
Excuse me?

222222
Why should you get what you want? I’ve never gotten what I wanted! In 15 years of marriage you’ve never given me a thing I wanted because you don’t even know me!

333333 enters.

333333
What’s all the fighting about?

222222
Nothing, go back to bed.

333333
But I have to be up for school.

222222
You can be late for school today, go back to bed.

111111
No she can’t – get ready for school, you’ll be late for the bus!

222222
No, listen to me. Go back to bed.

333333
I won’t get in trouble if I’m late?

222222
No, I’ll write you a note. Now go get under the covers and put a pillow over your head.

333333
Yippeeeeeee!

333333 exits.

111111
What was that all about?

222222 murders 111111 with a frying pan.
Pause.
A moment of remorse.

222222
Ok, get ready, you’re going to be late for school!