34

10.11.06

Three, in bland one-piece uniform, with worn furniture.

135
It’s like waiting for the guillotine, being here…

721
Entertainment. What we need is entertainment.

502
Yes, it’s positively glum here, isn’t it?

721
Yes, glum is the word I was looking for.

502
Humdrum would work as well.

721
Yes. Humdrum!

502
Humdrum…glum…entertainment. Yeah! Well, I have an idea in the old noggin! Let’s have a posh tea party to celebrate the arriving hour? Shall we?

721
Oh yes! Lets!

135
You must be positively daft.

502
Nonsense. Not at all. Here, come set the table while I put the kettle on!

721
Ooh! How lovely! Look at this wonderful lace tablecloth I had hanging in the master closet! This should do nicely! Go purloin the silver from Ragobond’s cupboard, will you?

135
Who is Ragobond?

721
Why our butler, silly. Wouldn’t want to wake him, its nearly ten to midnight! We’ll just place the settings ourselves. Oh! Here comes mum with the crumpets!

502
Crumpets, both cinnamon and raspberry. Also brought salmon cakes, deviled eggs and little salted wieners in cream sauce for my saucy young boys! In the kitchen I’ve made sweets you couldn’t even imagine. Things shaped like mythical creatures and frosted in colors not found in the rainbow. Absolutely delicious. Tea’s on the way!

721
Thanks mum. A wonderful treat after such a long dreary day. Work was an atrocious bore, what with all the nonsense and the hubbub. Crunching numbers, flipping pages, so on, so forth. Though I was at the opera house for a matinee to escape the rain. The story was even drearier, I would say. Music was phenomenal, though. Don Giovanni, by Mozart. Dead before his time… Say, son, what did you do with your day?

135
I’m not…I don’t…

502
Didn’t you paint a picture today, son?

721
Well go on, tell us about it…

135
I…Yes. I painted a picture.

721
Wonderful, well, let’s have a look at it!

135
Here it is, here is my picture. It is surrounded by a frame.

502
I can see that, boy, how wonderful! Simply marvelous! All the fine detail and the color! You’ve a bright future ahead of you, you know!

135
No I haven’t…

721
Nonsense, son. I’ve worked hard all my life so that you, my heir, could have the opportunity to follow your dreams. If you wish to become an artist, well then, I will make sure that every obstacle between you and success are laid waste. You have a bright future ahead of you now, don’t you…?

135
Yes. A bright future indeed…

721
I’m afraid I’ve misplaced my spectacles. Might you describe this painting for me?

502
Tea’s ready. Everyone hold up your cup!

721
Aren’t you going to hold up your cup, son?

135
Yes. Please. Tea.

502
Any lumps?

135
Seven.

502
Sweat tea for my sweet pea! 1…2…3…4…5…6…7. 7 lumps!

721
None for me, thanks. Now, boy. Why don’t you go ahead and describe what to me is only a faint blur. Perhaps my imagination will fill it in.

135
It’s a picture.

721
Yes…of what?

135
It’s a picture of a birdie.

502
Yes, I see that now. What species of avia do you presume?

135
It’s a big birdie.

721
Ah! A Rrrraptor then. Perhaps an eagle?

135
Yes. It’s a picture of an eagle.

502
And what’s it doing?

135
It’s flying.

721
Soaring! Soaring majestically I would say.

135
No. No it isn’t.

502
Then what’s it doing?

135
It’s diving. For the kill.

721
Ah, I see. It must be hungry.

135
Yes, that’s right. It hasn’t eaten for days…

502
It’s got that look in its eye.

135
No, there’s no look. It’s too hungry to look anymore. It’s too tired and weak to keep thinking. This eagle, right here it is, dives completely on instinct. It knows there’s a fish in the water. Right here. The water bubbles on this side of the painting, because we’re behind the eagle’s back, looking down. And we can’t see the fish, but it’s there. We know it’s there. In our mind’s eye we see that fish. We’re falling with the eagle, falling fast, hard, our last chance for a meal before we starve. It’s desperate, it’s so desperate, but it’s free. We’ve never been so free. Moments before the kill.

502
Good work, m’boy, have a crumpet, while I hang this masterpiece on the wall!

135
Yes…Yes, I suppose I will! Mmm, it’s warm!

721
Just pulled fresh from the oven, you know. Before we had a cook, your mum was quite the culinary expert! Try the salmon cakes, eagle-boy.

135
MMMmmm, they melt in my mouth!

502
I’m glad you like them. But there’s a secret recipe you know…

721
Ah, yes, the family secret recipe for salmon cakes…

135
What’s the secret?

502
They’re magical.

135
Really!

721
Yes, yes, if you eat three, you fly!

502
You don’t just fly, you become a bird! An eagle, just like in this painting!

135
How wonderful! Lets all of us eat three together!

(Mouths full)

721
One…

502
Mmm, two…

135
Three!

(Pause)

135
I feel it! I’m an eagle!

502
Yes, we’re all eagles! Look at us fly!

721
Now let’s fly our asses out of this place!

135
No, wait! Look down there! Fish!

502
Delicious fish!

(They go for the kill)

721
I’ve got one! A trout! I’m not sharing!

135
Me too! A new kind of fish! Never before discovered!

502
Oh, I bet it’s delicious!

721
Who cares! I’m hungry!

502
I’m starving!

135
I’ve never felt so free!

Harsh light and rusty chains burst in. The three cover their eyes as they are addressed by an OFFSTAGE VOICE.

OFFSTAGE VOICE
Alright you three. Hands on your heads. Stand forward and be counted.

721 stands forward.

721
Prisoner 721 present and accounted for, sir!

721 stands back. 502 stands forward.

502
Prisoner 502 present and accounted for, sir!

502 stands back. 135 reluctantly stands forward.

135
135 present, sir.

OFFSTAGE VOICE
I COULDN’T HERE THAT, RODENT. WHAT DID YOU SAY?

135
I said prisoner 135 present and accounted for, sir!

OFFSTAGE VOICE
That’s better. Now. It’s three minutes to midnight. There has been no interference from the party office, which means things will continue as planned. The preacher couldn’t make it, his school bus ran over a land mine. Don’t worry, he’s alright. He said you should say your prayers quietly to yourself…well get on with it!

The three begin to pray in separate languages.

OFFSTAGE VOICE
Quieter! And line up with your backs facing us. We’ll be leading you out soon.

The three pray quietly as they face upstage.

OFFSTAGE VOICE
Poor loony bastards. Alright, company, on my mark. FIRE!

Blackout in a hail of gunfire.