9

9.16.06
On a couch.

POTATO
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These choices are easy.
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Nobody-
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Lives or dies-
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On these choices.
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Just a series.
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A show might get canceled-
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Or the ratings might drop.
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…Click.
…one time I stayed in this spot for so long that the cushion stuck to my ass when I stood up and off the couch. My knees were so weak, they were arthritic. The blood rushed from my head and made me see this weird light in front of my eyes. Like snow or static, but…weirder. It was awesome.
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500 channels.
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40 in HD.
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Twenty different languages.
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Cleek.
Clicko.
CleekAY.
El Click.
And Seinfeld is always on the air.
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Seinfeld.
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Seinfeld again.
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Simpsons. That one’s real common too.
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Seinfeld.
I would worry about getting fatter, but I barely eat these days.
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Fraisier.
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I can’t feel my thumb anymore.
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Lost feeling after I got the big screen.
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Lost feeling in my ass after the first month.
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Seinfeld.
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Yeah, I used to watch the news.
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I used to watch all the news.
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CNN, NBC, CBS
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ABC, MSNBC, F-O-X
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I mean Fox.
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But never PBS, and I think we all know why.
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I mean the fake news is way more entertaining.
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Real news is a bummer.
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My addiction skips a generation.
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My Dad is actually quite active.
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He runs a lot.
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My Grandma was a radio junkie.
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She listened to the radio so much she eventually couldn’t sleep without it on.
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Drove Grandpa crazy.
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Her grandfather, Great Great Gambie Mortimer, he was addicted to the papers.
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Started back in the 1880’s. Couldn’t get enough news from the West. From the frontier. He used to buy food from street vendors, just to read the scraps that they served in.
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Seinfeld again.
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I wonder if my grandkids will be addicted to the internet.
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I imagine that by that time, there will be some new form of information mismanagement for them to glue their eyes to. Something 3D, involving lazers and holograms and such.
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At least that’s what TV tells me.
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Screw the internet.
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Fraisier.
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Mash.
Seinfeld.
Frasier.
Seinfeld.
Seinfeld.
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Simpsons.
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Seinfeld.
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I used to be addicted to music.
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But then they invented MTV.
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I used to be addicted to cocaine.
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But then they invented E!, and seeing celebrities was all the kick I needed.
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My hair is turning grey.
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My eyes are going.
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I’m losing my free will.
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And I’m loving every minute of it.
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