58 - John, like the baptist?

11.5.06

GEORGIA eats a sandwich, while watching TELEVISION.

TELEVISION
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, my golly. The world has spun completely out of control. Maybe those indigenous Mexicans were right when they said the world was going to end in the year 2012. Maybe the world has already ended, and you weren’t one of the lucky ones to be raptured up. Heck, if god was only going to take a little over one hundred thousand, how would the world even notice that the end had begun? I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking that you may never be forgiven for your indolence, when the world is spinning out of control and evil has taken root in society. You may never be forgiven for the little you have done and the great deal you have failed to do. You have failed to keep the sodomites and lustful from practicing their deviant ways. You have failed to keep the family in tact in the world. You have failed to keep god in the hearts and minds of all people on earth, and instead they go about having gay sex or sex with prostitutes, or gay sex with gay prostitutes. Blaspheming the good word of the lord with every word. “YES GOD YES GOD JESUS JESUS” and a whole host of other words I will not repeat on this television program. This has happened because you, my friend, have failed. This is the stuff of original sin. I know this because I was once like you, sitting alone, watching television, stuffing my face while others starved. I was once a sinner, because I did not give all that I had to give. I did not say all that I had to say and I did not do all that I had to do. Well, I am here to tell you that it is time to start. You can start by pledging your support to the Endtimes Donation Fund, where we will continue our ongoing mission to expand our message of truth. The number is located on the screen right now, call it and help us help you help to save the world. Only you can call, and only you can make the difference. Call now, and keep our ministry alive. Call now. Call. Call.

GEORGIA finishes the sandwich, picks up the phone and dials.

TELEVISION
Call, because if you don’t, they will take the lord’s name in vain. They will take the lord’s name in vain while they engage in vile acts of bodily sin…

GEORGIA mutes the TELEVISION.

GEORGIA
Hello? Hi, this is Georgia Franklin. Hi, yes, I was watching your television program just now. Yes, I know, it is a wonderfully large ministry. Yes. No, I wouldn’t like to make a donation. No…Well you see I was wondering if I could speak to the reverend. I understand he’s busy. I’d like to speak with him anyway. Yes, you can leave him a message, that will be fine, but if he doesn’t get it I’ll walk my ass over there and boot you…Alright. The message is that the reverend is three months late on child support, and to remind him that I have a video of him taking the lords name in vain with me and a roomful of other naked people. Yes I’m serious, what’s your name? John? Like the Baptist? Well it was a pleasure talking to you John, have a lovely day.