Dear Cigarettes

Dear Cigarettes,
It makes me really sad to say, it's time we called it quits. It's not you, really, it's me. I just don't think it's healthy for me to be in a relationship with you right now. You break my heart every morning, and I know you can't help it, so I've decided to take action. Today will be our last date. I'll only kiss you three more times.
I have nothing but the fondest of memories of my time spent with you. How could I forget the first time I ever made out with you, after Ashleigh Sala bummed me one of you my senior year of High School. Or what about the time my parents caught us kissing when I was home visiting from college? Man, they were so furious. They thought you we from the wrong side of the tracks, but they didn't understand. It's been a great time with you cigarettes, I don't want you to think that I'm just going to retroactively hate you and proclaim you to be uncool.
Now I know we've broken up before, but this time it's for real. No more random hook ups. I don't want any late night drunken trysts with you, and I certainly don't want you to try to hook me up with your older brothers cigars and pipes. Your cousin from mexico and I are going to be having this discussion very soon as well. I really need to be free from you right now, I need to learn to live without you. Perhaps some day in the future, if I have some role in a play or there's some celebration, maybe I'll make an exception. But for now we are through, it's over. Kaput.
Yours no longer,
S

P.S. Ok, let's go make out one more time, for old time's sake.