AMAZING STORIES! VOLUMES: I II & III

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Episode 1!
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So today a strange man broke into our house! BAM! He totally took a shower in Gene's bathroom. Isn't that bizarre, strange AND wonderful? But also unsettling. Veeeery unsettling. So unsettling that I took Gene's toy plastic bbgun shotgun, and now it's sitting on my lap for protection. Robin took care of the situation. He very patiently asked the dude to leave. I hate guns, but it makes me feel like I'm Samuel L Jackson in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
I SHIT YOU NOT...uh...muthafucka.
No, but seriously, I heard a noise in the basement, and I thought that he'd come back, so I lit a cigarette (I know, I know) and stormed my castle. I felt all badass. Then I felt like a moron. What is it about being a dude that makes me want to be such a stupid asshole sometimes? I think it's hilarious when it happens. But still, Gah!
So then, when I thought the bbgun unloaded, I fired it at a drum, and a bb ricocheted across the room, like in a comic book. It was awesome. Isn't it great to witness magical acts of stupidity? Aren't they sometimes the most memorable moments of your life? They certainly are for me.
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Episode 2!
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I might have a fuckton of plays produced in the next couple months. I don't know how this happened, but a whole bunch o' oppertunities just popped up to share my work with people who might be interested in putting that shit up. Sarah Hammond is going to throw a copy of Billie the Kid across some Lit Manager's desk in South Carolina. Hooray for Sarah Hammond! Mitch, the first ever professional director to ever produce my work, is starting up a new theatre company, and he's looking for submissions. His mission statement involves producing new plays that blend together Art, Multimedia & Technology, or Music in any way. They're also looking for new spins on old ideas. I figure I might try to whip up some more robot plays. See Episode 3! BAM! Lastly, Pegasus Players, in an effort to keep the Young Playwright's Festival fresh, is looking to commission new work from alums of the YPF. They're framing it as a bi-annual award, where one alum is commissioned to write a peice or produce a new draft for the purposes of a workshop, with a small run. Reward - 500 dollars. Thank goodness there are places like Pegasus to keep young artists writing. How incredible. I never would have been a playwright if it weren't for them. I really hope I can have a chance to repay the favor for them somehow. I would totally love to be a lacky intern there. If I don't get into Brown, I hope they'd let me lag around at Pegasus, until I find a proper job in theatre.
Oh, and I also gave a copy of El Dorado to Mitch Emerson, my buddy who works down at the mill and did a kick-ass job as the Pimp in my play. We're talking about producing it together cheaply somehwere in Iowa City. I would love Mitch as Sparrow in that play. BAM!
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Episode 3!
...The Final Meltdown.
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MY FRIEND CARL HAS COMPOSED THE MUSIC OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM. This may sound far-fetched, but in fact, it is not. Using a progam on his powerbook called "Super Collider" (BAM!) he has calculated the frequency of the rotations and revolutions of every notable object in our lamentably nameless little neighborhood. The frequencies are too low for human ears, but the whiz kid found a way to imagine an omnipotent hand point his finger and stir the pot, so that the whole operation moves about 800 times faster. The result is a SYMPHONY of SPACE, a CONCERTO of the COSMOS, or a TARANTELLA of TIME. I like that last one the best.
So I might write a short robot play based on that sound and an all-knowing supercomputer (which will be the exact size and shape as a pair of real boss sunglasses.) I might in fact make a series of short robot peices, combining them with IO and several other short robot things I've come up with in the past. This is the package I'm thinking about assembling and sending off to Mitch for his new theatre company.
For the first time in my life, I'm starting to feel like a working playwright.
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Life has become happy once again. I'm listening to Poses by Rufus Wainwright right now. It just ended, and the next track will be Jeff Buckley's version of Halleluja. I'm starting to feel good again.


Halleluja.


Halleluja...


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