4

9.11.06

The TIME TRAVELER stands, holding her wristwatch before him as glues his eyes shut impatiently. They (her eyes) open wide.

TIME TRAVELER
Eureka! I’ve made it! I am in the future! What a strange and wonderfying place this is! Electrified everything! Great googally moogally! Everyone is so much FATTER now! This is incredibonkers! What strange new means of agricultural nutrification have brought us to such a healthy, big-boned era? My! I’ve never seen so many bathing beauties in all my wonder years! And what’s this? My golly, I do believe there isn’t a single ankle unexposed! What bizaarish and sexpository times of liberation have I missed in my travels? My, if only Professor Silas Masterson could see this brave new moment. Alas, he must have been deceased for many years now…along with everyone I’ve ever known…how sad…
…And yet, how lucked-up I must be, to have gotten such a rare chance at life in the age of women-in-pants and what I can only guess is the rise of a new alien master race!

So where is the new alien master overlord anyway? I’d like to thank him for all the technologinal inventerations he must have brought with him to our humble heliocentric home. Would you please kindly point me in his mean directional radius?

Excuse me, I believe I was addressing all of you.

Does anybody here know where I might find our alien tyrant?

Is there an alien emperor? ...from the moon perhaps?

My, this is disheartening. You mean to tell me all of humanity’s innovations were self spun these many-score years? How far could we possibly have gotten? Are we still excreting via the back-end, or have we found a solution to such degredations? Blasted, I figured as much. Still, this typhoon of new experiences is a bit overwhelming. Might I enquire that one of you serve as my guide for the next few moments? I am looking for a doorman – er- or woman to the future. You there! Youngling, yes you, come over here a moment, will you child, and tell me all I’ve missed. Don’t be afraid. Come closer. There, that’s better. How, might I ask, do you hail yourself?

_____
What?

TIME TRAVELER
What is your name, last first, then Christian?

_____
Oh. Uh. _________.

TIME TRAVELER
Such brilliancyful names we have in the future! _____! I’ve never heard such an odd name before! What does it mean?

_____
Uh, I don’t know. I don’t think it means anything.

TIME TRAVELER
Fie! Every name has a meaning. But, alas, I do not have the time nor the patience to discern the …meaning…in yours, _____. Now. Brass tacks, let us sink through to them, shall we? First, what of other time travelers? Any make it here before myself?

_____
I don’t think so…

TIME TRAVELER
You don’t think what?

_____
No

TIME TRAVELER
No what?

_____
What?

TIME TRAVELER
YOU SPEAK IN RIDDLES FUTURECHILD! Do all such spawn of your generation verbify in such obfuscated enigmaticisms, or is it just you?

_____
I guess.

TIME TRAVELER
You guess what?

_____
Nothing. Nevermind.

TIME TRAVELER
AGAIN! I have been hoisted by your oratorical potard, if I do sing so myself sir. But perhaps I can manage a deuce with a question of my own. How has human flight prevailed since Orville and Wilbur embarked at Kitty Hawk? Are our wings found only in Ohio or are we birds elsewhere?

_____
We have planes. I guess. People fly places.

TIME TRAVELER
It is not the completion of your words, but rather the poetry of the moment that brings a tear to my eye as of now! And what of Edison’s wax cylinder? Are the voices of the dead captured in such a way as he predicted? What of Roosevelt? And temperance?

_____
Uh…

TIME TRAVELER
Has the direct-current electric horseless automobile yet dominated the streets? Are the diseases which once plagued humanity yet cured? Is the anarchist menace yet defeated, or do their acts of terrorism still strike fear into the hearts of civilized people everywhere? If we have not been colonized by some moon force of odd-shaped invaders, have we then been said colonizers in places located beyond the cold nothing of space? Have we been to other stars? Has America yet legislated itself into perfection? Is poverty a thing of the past? Do children still go to bed hungry in this world, or is everyone as fat as we? Where are you going? Where, what are you doing?

_____
I’m going back to my seat.

TIME TRAVELER
But you haven’t yet answered my questions! How much has changed? How far have we come? What is this newlified future like, and what of pomade? How has pomade changed lo these many years I have been navigating the space-time canals of time and space?

Aren’t you going to answer me?

Are you just going to sit there? And say nothing?

Have you nothing to say? Have you no answer?

Is this what the future is really like?

Is this what I have to look forward to?

Perhaps this time is a steak too rare. Yes, that’s it. I must place myself back in the oven to emerge, juicy and tenderloinicised another day. Maybe the future of this future is a future more worth waiting for. Fairtheewell, bleary-eyed slack-taskers of the new new era! I’m off to better, and even newer times! Excelsior!

The TIME TRAVELER stares at her wristwatch, again his eyes and waiting impatiently for the future.

3 - The Axeman's 5onnet

9.10.06

An Executioner, W/ Axe

To me it seems there is no end in sight.
I find myself to be ever-employed, and
Though some might find this fact quite terrible,
Brains in baskets put food on the table.
The pike, that is a nasty thing for me.
The Crown’s orders – a great deal more gruesome.
I’m not the crow pecking at your eyeballs,
But merely the arms behind the axefall.
The steel is going to drop either way.
It will slice tomorrow if not today.
So pray for a clean cut, no matter what
You say, you are stuck in a bloody mess.
Just don’t pray for pity on either bloke,
The headless or the one behind the stroke.

2

9.9.06

King

Brutus?

Servant

Yes, my liege?

King

I’m depressed…

Servant

Oh no! My liege…

King

Yes, I’m afraid it is so. I, your King, am down and out.

Servant

But why, My liege? Whatever is the matter?

King

To be honest? Everything is the matter. I look out this castle window, and I can gaze upon more than half my entire kingdom. I can see the merchants keeping our economy running. Over there, surfs are toiling away in the fields. Within our walls, I can see the slaves carrying foreign tributes to my mountain of gold…

Servant

Why, this should be cause for great celebration! I’ll get the royal harem tout suite!

King

No, no, that won’t be necessary.

Servant

Then I shall collect some prisoners of war for you, sir, so you might run them through…

King

No, thank you. In fact, here, take my sword. I no longer wish to murder anyone.

The King gives the sword to the Servant

Servant

My liege!

King

When I look back on all the people I’ve murdered, I don’t feel the same joy I used to. In fact, it makes me gloomier still.

Servant

What joy in life is there to be had if you can’t take pleasure in the pain and suffering of your enemies?

King

That’s just it. I’m the most powerful King in all the land, everyone fears, respects and obeys me. Why, I don’t believe I have any enemies left!

Servant

Then we’ll create new ones! I’ll gather useless people to pose as invaders…

King

That would be of no use to this black mood. We need a new way of thinking.

Servant

A new way of thinking…

King

Times like these call for desperate measures.

Servant

Yes, desperate measures…

King

It’s time for a change…

Servant

The times, they are a…what?

King

As of today, I am liquidating all the wealth in the royal treasury.

Servant

Great Scott!

King

I shall distribute all of my gold and lands to the fiefs in my fiefdom, until every last person has the means to provide for themselves. Only then will I find solace in my riches.

Servant

But if you don’t have money, you don’t have power!

King

I don’t need power, Brutus. I no longer wish to rule such a large portion of the world. Instead, I shall pass on authority to a democratically elected body, perhaps a parliamentary leadership, so that the people might govern themselves.

Servant

What if the people elect a villain, or a thief?

King

Well, I will create an indelible law that grants and acknowledges the rights of the public, which will in turn allow to populace to protect itself through means of public forum.

Servant

And the royal harem?

King

Oh. I suppose they should go free too. But tell them they’re welcome to, uh, crash here anytime they like. For this is the dawning of my new age of generosity!

Servant

Age of generosity…

King

After today there will be no more wanton murder on my hands. No more suffering in the name of my wealth. Not another drop of blood will be needless spil’t!

The Servant runs the King through with the sword.

Servant

Age of generosity my arse!

The Servant dons the King’s royal robes and crown. After taking a moment to admire the attire, the Servant looks out the window.

Servant

You there! Why aren’t you carrying more gold! Work harder! And you! Surf! Yes you, who do you think I’m talking to, the million other surfs out there? Make your crops grow faster! I want to eat them all in front of your starving family during my next orgy! Slave! Look here! Slave! Guard! Have that slave flayed alive for not paying attention!

One could get used to this quite easily…

1

9.8.06

Performer
This is nothing less than a manifesto. Although I will pretend that there is some degree of dialogue between you and I, there is not. There is only the potential for dialogue, and in the spirit of these times that potential will be ignored.

Chorus
<>

After a moment, the Performer points up. The chorus falls silent.

Performer
Contrary to the spirit of these times, all efforts are focused toward a search for truth.

Chorus
TRUTH.

Performer
But first we should know what is at stake.

The Chorus drops to the ground dead. Over the course of the Performer’s next speech, they will continue to decompose until the sight of them is almost too ghastly to bear.

Performer
We will never know the truth. Even if we discovered it, the truth would largely be ignored. Such is the way humanity seems to work. What is important is that we keep ourselves searching for the truth. The search is more meaningful than the truth itself. Only by maintaining our search will we ever hope keep ourselves alive. When you ignore the search, this is what happens. Dead bodies. Some day we will all have something in common with these people. That day comes too soon for many, and it is because they are ignored. By you. You in particular. And me. People die because of our ignorance. This is the truth. But it isn’t important until you find out for yourself.

Chorus
<>

Performer
Find out for yourself. Look at what you want. Ask yourself, what do I want? Make a list. What do you want? How long is your list? There is no limit, and there shouldn’t be. You have a right to want, just as you have a right to think. Now imagine ten people, and imagine what their list amounts to. Now imagine the lists of everyone in this place. Now imagine the lists of everyone in this city. This state. This region. Now imagine the lists of everyone in this nation. Everyone everywhere. Imagine how many wants there are.

The Chorus has already begun standing and speaking.

Chorus
I want to be alive
I want to be free
I want to be happy
I want to be loved
I want to be useful
I want to be healthy
I want to be protected
I want to be safe
I want to be heard
I want to be right
I want to be righteous
I want to be successful
I want to be wealthy
I want to be rich
I want to be powerful
I want to be good
I want to be
I want to be holy
I want to be
I want to be good
I want to be powerful
I want to be rich
I want to be wealthy
I want to be successful
I want to be righteous
I want to be right
I want to be heard
I want to be safe
I want to be protected
I want to be healthy
I want to be useful
I want to be loved
I want to be happy
I want to be free
I want to be alive

Performer
Everyone has a right to want these things. You have the right to pursue these things. When you were born, no matter where you were, you were given these rights. Your rights can never be taken away from you. They can only be ignored. People die when their rights are ignored. This can only happen when they themselves are ignored. As long as you are human, this should never happen to you. You have a right not to be ignored.

Chorus
DO NOT IGNORE ME.

Performer
This is a manifesto.

Chorus
DO NOT IGNORE ME.

Performer
For me it is a prayer.

Chorus
DO NOT IGNORE ME.

Performer
For you it is a warning.

Chorus
DO NOT IGNORE ME.

Performer
Because I can’t ignore you.

Chorus
NEVER AGAIN.

Performer
Ignore no one.

Chorus
EVER AGAIN.

Performer
Unless you wish to be ignored.

365 a year

365
Starting
365
this
365
morning,
365
or
365
rather,
365
this
365
coming
365
morning.
365
to
365
be
365
posted
365
on
365
this
365
blog.
365




(special thanks to Dave Strackany and Suzan-Lori Parks for the idea)

Decemberists Mix CD

Compile all Decemberists songs about WAR.

The Legionnaire's Lament
Sixteen Military Wives
Yankee Bayonet (I Will Be Home Then)
The Soldiering Life
Summersong
When The War Came

Follow that up with all the Decemberists songs about SAILING

Shanty For Arethusa
From My Own True Love (lost at sea)
Oceanside
The Island-Come & See/The Landlord’s Daughter/You’ll Not Feel The Drowning
The Mariner's Revenge Song

MAX: to me - YO STEVO.Just checking in to see how you're holding up. How your summer was..Keep in touch, MAX. P.S. How's the real world.

Me, to MAX,

MAX
Life is sweet. Graduated from college. Did absolutely nothing this summer, which was SWEET. Got a job at a theatre (www.PegasusPlayers.org) and I'm currently looking for apartments in downtown Chicago. The real world is, you know, real. I'm really broke. I'm really looking for other theatre jobs to supplement my income. I'm really loving making a living doing what I love to do, and I'm really loving my low paying job at Pegasus, because I get to help inner city highschoolers find their voices, and because Pegasus is a SWEET theatre. This year, our young playwright's festival is HUGE, and our three highscoolers are all individually getting their own professional playwright mentor to help them during their workshop process. I have a feeling the end result is going to be a bombshell, and I'm really excited for writers, because I won this contest years ago and I don't think they have any idea of what's in store for them. I'm afraid I haven't been writing as much as I'd like to. It's mostly because I don't have a writing community yet (I just moved back to Chicago August 1st.) But I'm keeping in touch with my writer friends and I'm about ready to start some big projects. I've had a full length on the boiler for a while, and I'm about ready to knock together the first draft sometime before halloween. I'm also working on a few ten minute plays, one of which I plan to send to ATL for their ten minute contest. The only problem is that my sig-oth (SIGnifican OTHer) is one of their lit interns, so I think I might have to send it under a pseudonym so as to avoid a conflict of interest. I'm also supposed to write a libretto for a friend as a wedding present (which I think will be a robot musical) but I haven't done much more than a rough sketch on it. My si-goth also got me into basketball, and after she wrote a basketball ten minute she said I had her permission to write a full length about basketball if i thanked her on the notes page. That said, I haven't been nearly as prolific lately as I'd like to be. As far as music goes, man, maybe that's another reason why I havent been writing much. Last year I wrote a psuedo-sequel to the moops album, a solo album about the movie JAWS and my breakup with my ex (you know, the one who cheated on me while I was in Denver with you groovy cats) and I'm finishing up another solo album about leaving Iowa City for good. I also got a chance to collaborate with a playwright named W. David Hancock this past spring, and I wrote the music for a play of his that I acted in while he was visiting Iowa. It was called THE PUZZLE LOCKER, and although it got bad reviews (where are online) it really was an amazing play. So all and all, in the past year I've recorded 4 albums and a few singles. My friend Peter, who wrote most of the Moops album and arranged the sequel, is moving in with me for the year and we're planning on starting a music blog together. The idea is that every edition we'll produce at least one complete pop song, based on challenges that come from our readers (example: make a late Pink Floyd song about cabbage without rhyming.) We're tentatively calling it SONGBUSTERS until we come up with a better name. As for the future, I'm planning on applying to grad school again (and again and again until I get in) and I'm working on a couple shows around Chicago to make friends in the area and to find somebody to direct or produce El Dorado. I joined a theatre ensemble called "the shared ensemble" which with its subsidiary "BIG Theatre company" is producing a play by Sharman McDonald (Keira Knightley's mom) called BORDERS OF PARADISE. The play is really cool, its about surfers in England, and we're doing it sight-specific in a new Cafe in Chicago using furniture and alley junk to create an urban landscape that mimics the rocky cliffs of southwest England. I'm conducting the band and designing/running the sound, and I think the show's going to be a hit. So that's it for me, really. How are things going for you? How's Denver? How'd the 'wrighting gig in NY go? How are all my Curious sisters and brothers doing? You graduate this year, don't you? Where are you applying? Most importantly, what have you been writing? *KEEP IN TOUCH*
Stevo

Rainy Days and Mondays

Jamyl, Adriana and Ben Gabriel all returned to work on Rainy Days and Mondays at the NY International Fringe festival. I wonder if Andrew is still having everyone score their scripts...

Update on an Idea for a Musical

Back to the doldrums again. Night time. Our dead ship is lost at sea, with no wind, food or freshwater. Only rum. Barrels and barrels of rum. The poor souls upon the (insert insightful name of ship here) hoped to fight in the American Revolution, but went wayward when the captain sold them out to the enemy. They have no idea how the war has gone, nor have they seen any action. Now all aboard are doomed.
But you can't tell it by looking at them. They are as cheery as ever, and the whole play opens with cheery song and dance. The crew has been sleeping under the sails on the deck all day to escape the sun, and wake at dusk to enjoy the cool night air. They know they're screwed, but they can't help but entertain themselves. When they decide the end is unavoidable, they crack open the rum and begin to drink themselves to death.
They tell their stories and share their talents together in a drunken amateur night, organized by a midshipman, Maximillian Griffin, who's only goal is to keep moral high among the few crew members left. Secretly, he stays sober, keeping up hope that they might be rescued.
Inspite of all the insane cheeryness that floats among our crew, a deep bitter hatred is brewing. Things could get out of hand at any moment. As the action progresses, the men (casting made without distinction of gender) become increasingly violent. Rumors of an unlucky shipmate undo many smiles on deck. Things only get worse when the crew learns the truth of their situation.

Act One: Crack Open the Rum
Act Two: Amateur Night
Act Three: A Traitor Revealed

Weddn' Bells F'r Carl and Anne

Tomorrow Carl gets Married.
I really must work on some sort of toast.
What do I say?

I suppose what wierdest about this is the indication of all our advancing years. I've known Carl since we were six, and now there are no bones about the fact that we are adults. We're done with school, we've got jobs, and now he's starting his own family. We are definitely adults. Shit.

Anne is wonderful.

The wedding is poised to be one of the best ceremonies I'll ever attend. It's outdoors, behind a lovely farmhouse belonging to their advisors from Wesleyan, and the reception begins immediately after. There is a dog in the wedding party, and every participant unrelated to Carl or Anne is considered a "Maid of Honor" or a "Best Man." I love the shakeup on the traditional American marriage. Carl composed two of the peices to be used in the ceremony. There is no uniform, no tuxedo requirements, and the actually ceremony will be small.

I will be wearing my black pinstripe suit, a solid black t-shirt and no shoes. I will not be shaving my beard. I know this sounds strange and informal. I was encouraged to attend in such attire. I think the off-beat nature of everyone's wardrobe will make the event even more formal/special.

Will bought a white suit and white slipper-shoes for the occasion.
He will not be wearing a tie either.
Pictures soon to follow.

I need to write a toast.

BLIND DATE AND ELIMIDATE CANCELLED!

WRITE TO YOUR CABLE PROVIDER!
MARCH IN FRONT OF WARNER BROTHERS AND NBC STUDIOS!
THEY HAVE CANCELLED TWO OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SHOWS ON TELEVISION!
DON'T LET "THE MAN" TAKE THESE PROGRAMS AWAY!
WE ALL STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN FROM THESE PEOPLE!

what else am I going to watch at 3:00 am when I'm bored?