tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-198882202011-09-29T21:15:29.416-07:00A New Play a Day from September 8 2006 through September 7 2007. Special thanks to Dave Strackany and Suzan-Lori Parks for the idea.stephennoreply@blogger.comBlogger1601100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-13343273250340475622007-02-01T00:58:00.001-08:002007-02-01T00:58:27.093-08:00

1.1.07 A LARGE BIRTHDAY CAKE Including the following: 2007 candles (though perhaps more representational than literal) The phrase “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” A team of crack musicians and singers perform: THE BIRTHDAY SONG (Note: as a result, no tickets may be sold to the performance) TO “JULIAN CALENDAR” The song should go something like this. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-18089589437377987462007-02-01T00:57:00.000-08:002007-02-01T00:58:00.564-08:00

12.31.06 MUSIC. BALLERINAS ENTER ONE BY ONE, CARRYING: A BOMB. A GUN. LANDMINES. A PILE OF MONEY. COCAINE. FATIGUES OF DIFFERENT NATIONS. AN IPOD. A BIOHAZARD CONTAINER (CONTAINING URANIUM). A TELEVISION.A GAS CAN. A PICTURE OF KISSINGER. THE HEAD BALLERINA ENTERS WITH A LARGE BOX. ONE BY ONE THE BALLERINAS TOSS THEIR ITEMS IN THE BOX.WHEN THEY ARE DONE, THEY FILL THE BOX WITH

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-87853647910686409602007-02-01T00:56:00.000-08:002007-02-01T00:58:51.763-08:00

12.30.06 THE HUMAN CLOCK – for 14 players Twelve people sit in clock formation (1-12) When their hour comes up, they stand for the full hour. (“HOUR HAND” is the person whose job it is to politely inform each particular person that it is their turn to stand.)Meanwhile, a waltz is played at 120 beats per minute.Every five minutes, the waltz changes.(“MINUTE HAND” is the person whose job it

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-80794922263197023642007-02-01T00:55:00.000-08:002007-02-01T00:56:27.936-08:00

12.29.06 A soldier enters. The soldier is surprised.The soldier looks at the audience with disdain. SOLDIERThunder. The soldier raises a weapon. SOLDIERThunder. The soldier looks to see if anyone else is around. SOLDIERTHUNDER. The soldier levels the weapon. SOLDIERThunder, thunderthunderthunderthunderthunder- The soldier fires the weapon. A CHORUSFlash!

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-60044553995564527592007-02-01T00:54:00.002-08:002007-02-01T00:55:10.361-08:00

12.28.06STOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMPCLAPSTOMP STOMP CLAPSTOMPCLAPSTOMPSTOMP STOMPSTOMPCLAP“GET SERIOUS”STOMPCLAP“GET SERIOUS”STOMP“RIGHT NOW”CLAPSTOMPSTOMP“GET SERIOUS”STOMP“RIGHT NOW”CLAP“Get serious people, because there’s a whole lot out there to be serious about.”

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-14170758077508453062007-02-01T00:54:00.001-08:002007-02-01T00:54:34.953-08:00

12.27.06 PARIS, on her cellphone. Perhaps a small dog in tow. PARISWhatever. I don’t even give a shit anymore. …I hear you. …no, I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t care. …who cares? …well, I know you cares, but I mean who really cares…no, you matter…god, why are you being so high-maintenance?...yeah, you are. You totally are. Ok, fuck this, let me tell you something. No you hear me out,

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-51742957031329962422007-02-01T00:53:00.001-08:002007-02-01T00:53:59.484-08:00

12.26.06 Detritus everywhere. Wrapping paper. Empty boxes with flashy colors. Plastic. Batteries. Garland hanging from the walls. Christmas lights with missing bulbs. KID sitting in a corner, head in knees, crying alone. ADULTWhat’s the matter?Hey what’s the matter?Why are you crying?Hey, why are you so upset?Look around.Look around you, you should be happy.Look at all this

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-38348948407088955962007-02-01T00:52:00.000-08:002007-02-01T00:53:22.452-08:00

12.25.06A CHA-CHA line snakes in and out. The line is such that it seems never ending. Many of its participants where funny costumes or masks. The audience is invited to join. The CHA-CHA becomes a marathon to see who can CHA-CHA the longest. The winner(s) from the audience get treated to a special prize: THE SECRET PLAYThe players involved in the CHA-CHA of ENDURANCE, assemble what remains of

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-68550967575559033592007-02-01T00:51:00.002-08:002007-02-01T00:52:33.545-08:00

12.24.06 GEORGEI thought you had a flight tomorrow morning. ALYeah, my business trip got cancelled. GEORGEAre they giving you the day off? ALNo. They said I could come in late, but still. GEORGEYou were all geared up to go too. ALI know, I haven’t seen my sister in months. GEORGEWhen is she coming to Boston next? ALNever. GEORGEShe’s coming in for thanksgiving,

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-77920914416072587242007-02-01T00:51:00.001-08:002007-02-01T00:51:54.661-08:00

12.23.06 2 siblings. OLDEROk. I’ll tell you about. But you really can’t tell anyone that I told you.I mean it.I could really get in trouble for telling you this.Ok.Where to begin…First of all, it makes you feel a whole lot less special after a while. At first you feel special, but if you do it more with different people you realize that you just feel less special because there was more

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-38762856479062964662007-01-25T22:16:00.002-08:002007-01-25T22:22:18.235-08:00

12.22.06 (A BARE STAGE)DORAI HAVE A KNIFE JOCalm down... DORAFUCK YOU I GOT A KNIFE SHUT UP JOYou're being ridiculous. Calm down and let's talk DORANO WAY MAN. I see you. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO JOIf you would please calm down, it will only take me a minute to explain DORAEXPLAIN SHIT! JOYou aren't making any sense DORAWHAT JOI said you aren't making any sense, would you please DORAI'll cut you

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-42865782953296867952007-01-25T22:16:00.001-08:002007-01-25T22:16:35.345-08:00

12.21.06 Rain. Onstage. Lots of it too. Just sit down and watch it for a while. It’s fake, I know. But so’s everything else onstage. So sit and watch the rain.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-84577936006279840652007-01-25T22:15:00.000-08:002007-01-26T12:23:39.436-08:00

12.20.06The following is enacted by performers with violins. They do not speak, but rather interpret their lines with their instruments. A libretto is handed to the audience, or, the text is projected behind the action of the piece. 111111Morning. 222222Good morning. 111111Jesus I’m tired. 222222Did you sleep well? 111111(Yawns) I thought I did, but I’m still sleepy as all

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-18909949998295870432007-01-25T22:12:00.000-08:002007-01-25T22:13:16.740-08:00

12.19.06 Darkness. 100999897969594939291908988878685848382818079787776757473727170696867666564636261605958575655545352515049484746454443424140393837363534333231302928272625242322212019181716151413121110987654321LIGHTS FLASH ACROSS THE STAGE. A DOZEN PIÑATAS DANGLE ABOVE OUR HEADS, AND EXPLODE. CANDY IS SHOWERED EVERYWHERE. CLOWNS CARTWHEEL AND CONFETTI FLIES. OLD TIMEY MUSIC BLARES.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-40742503766250261352007-01-25T22:11:00.002-08:002007-01-25T22:12:21.556-08:00

12.18.06The audience enters the space and are given numbers to pin on their coats. Wagner music is pleasantly played in the background. There is a curtain, hiding a playing space. The ushers look sharp in their cold, dark uniforms, which feature strong hats not typically seen in casual attire. When all are seated, situated, and have been waiting a while, a pleasant USHER enters with THE DIRECTOR.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-35481544903881115422007-01-25T22:11:00.001-08:002007-01-25T22:11:38.885-08:00

12.17.06 GENESISLo these 130,000 years, the mountains shake and the rivers quiver. Mighty rocks become grains of sand and all the land contracts and expands. Age is ageless and time timeless: both are forever and neither exist. The orbs are spinning orbs spinning or’ orbs and under petals. Metal is merely melted stone. The quiet one speaks the loudest. The proudest Hotspur tumbles while the

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-71141114232522715742007-01-25T22:10:00.000-08:002007-01-25T22:11:10.536-08:00

12.16.06A well-known pop song recorded on or after February 25, 1957 is selected. There is no restriction as to which song is selected, save the date and it’s level of popular familiarity.A BIG FIRELaying, dead, in a circle, a group of people with bones in each hand stare up at the sky. A person with a skull painted up-side down on their face enters and beats an enormous drum.The dead come to

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-40054967743967593052007-01-25T22:09:00.000-08:002007-01-25T22:10:34.932-08:00

12.15.06 Rainbow music.I enter with a package, wrapped neatly and tied with a colorful bow. I place it on the ground. I exit. I reenter with another package, wrapped differently, but just as colorful. I place it next to the previous package. I exit.I repeat this process.Soon a large mound of packages and presents forms.Some packages are large.Some are rather small.They all look very pretty.The

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-82492849017630926102007-01-25T22:08:00.000-08:002007-01-25T22:09:52.959-08:00

12.14.06[G] [D] [D7] [E] [E][G] [D] [D7] [E] [E][A] [A] [E] [E] [A] [F] [G] [G] A sudden stop: jr.Wait wait wait, you’re all flat. J.R.Oh. Excuse me. jr. Here’s my E. [E] J.R.Sounds about right to me. jr. [Em]I guess it’ll have to do. J.R.Well, just give me a minute here, I’ll fix things up. jr. [Am]Losing your hearing in your old age?

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-82836279390021519972007-01-25T22:07:00.000-08:002007-01-25T22:08:50.961-08:00

Black.Time passes.More black.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-37487445594159457772007-01-24T00:04:00.001-08:002007-01-24T00:04:54.753-08:00

12.12.06A crotchety old performer creaks on to the stage. After appraising the audience while wearing a sour expression on their wrinkled face, they nod disapprovingly. The crotchety old performer raises their hands with fingers spread and jabs the air, as if casting lightning bolts from their fingers. A satisfied grunt. Muttering, the crotchety old performer creaks offstage.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-79502612968093533702007-01-24T00:03:00.000-08:002007-01-24T00:04:39.232-08:00

12.11.06 A deranged animatronic display, a’la chucky cheese. Some dopey kid actually puts a quarter in. COTTON CANDYDo you remember when you and me were best friends? We were BFF, BF/BF, GF/GF & BF/GF. We would pretend that I was bubblegum or fields of electric raspberries. You’d smack your lips and lick your sticky fingers up and down my cone. So what happened? How come I never see you

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-71486655525443634052007-01-24T00:02:00.000-08:002007-01-24T00:03:17.202-08:00

12.10.06 Note: The Audience sits facing one another.Darkness. The SPACE breathes in and exhales light slowly. The heavy sound of air from inside one’s chest fills the SPACE. A heartbeat can be heard. The SPACE gets warmer and warmer. The breathing speeds up. The heartbeat grows faster. Voices. Ghosts. The sight and sounds of quick bursts of electricity begin to punctuate the moment. Certain

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-74065225743678593122007-01-24T00:00:00.000-08:002007-01-24T00:01:05.154-08:00

12.9.06 SOMEONE stands center, obviously about to sneeze. SOMEONEAhhhh…Ahhhhh….Ahhh ahhhhh…..……Ahhhhhhhhhhh…….Ih. Ih. …*snort* I fuckin hate it when that happens. SHIFT. SOMEBODY enters, center, also about to sneeze. SOMEBODY*sniffles* *skiffles* *whizzles* *wuzzles* … The sneeze implodes within SOMEBODY’s brain. SOMEBODYIg fuggin’ hgate id wheg dat happeds. SHIFT. SOMEONE

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-89406727273021259112007-01-23T23:58:00.000-08:002007-01-24T00:00:26.545-08:00

12.8.06The AUDIENCE lines up in a row with their backs one yard from a big brick wall. They are made to do so by OFFICERS, lead by OFFICER BUSTIER. Sprinkled throughout the AUDIENCE are THE BUSTED. When THE BUSTED are discovered, they are turned around and pressed against the wall. THE BUSTED find this both amusing and upsetting. The OFFICERS do their best to keep everyone quiet. THE BUSTED try

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-28428869518390997302007-01-23T23:57:00.001-08:002007-01-23T23:57:48.679-08:00

12.7.06 The Audience Scattered. Those Who Came Together Are Spread Apart. All Are Alone. Quiet. A Dark Room (No Light.) Silence. Pause. A Voice. “Alone, and in the dark, the act of confession is easier when you remain anonymous. Now you are anonymous. We invite you to take this time to reflect. What weight is pressed upon your chest? What do you have left to confess?” Pause.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-57658986518163251372007-01-23T23:56:00.001-08:002007-01-23T23:56:54.049-08:00

12.6.06 Slowly, as a marching band enters, the HERALD reads a scroll… HERALDWHAT COULD YOU BECOME IN THE AGE OF FUNWHEN THE SUN SHONE DOWN WITH TERRIBLE DECAY AND LIGHT?BUT A FIBER IN THE YARN THAT THE EARTH HAD SPUNYOU WON WHAT YOU HAD WON WITHOUT PUTTING UP A FIGHTAND YOUR EARLY DAYS WERE FILLED WITH LIFE AND YOUTH AND HOPEIN YOUR LATER YEARS YOU THINK YOU’LL FIND IT ALL A TROPEBUT YOU

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-32028317310087395662007-01-23T23:54:00.000-08:002007-01-23T23:56:00.529-08:00

12.5.06 JUSTISYou don’t stand a chance, darling. COLUMBA (blind)Come over here and fight like a man! JUSTISI am over here….now I’m over here! COLUMBA (blind and swinging) JUSTISWatch where you point that thing, you might poke an eye out! COLUMBA (blind)When I’m done with you, they’ll find your body in a trash compactor smashed to a million pieces! Stand still!

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-86726418705742498592007-01-22T22:20:00.000-08:002007-01-22T22:21:14.898-08:00

12.4.06 +Minus? -Yer-hmm? +Wanna hear a joke? -Suuuuuure. +Why did the chicken cross the road? -I dunno, why? +No, I’m asking you. -Oh. I don’t know. +Me neither. -What about the joke? +No. I was just asking you if you wanted to hear one. I don’t actually know any jokes.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-31867589728142303372007-01-22T22:19:00.000-08:002007-01-22T22:20:50.588-08:00

12.3.06 LDY reaches into MBETH’s head. LDYWhere is it? MBETHI don’t know… LDYC’mon! Where did you put it? MBETHI’m telling you, I don’t know! LDY is elbow deep into MBETH’s skull LDYIs this it? MBETHOW! No! LDYSorry…oh wait! I found it! MBETHWell pull it out and close me up! I’m getting twitchy… LDY pulls an 8ball out of MBETH’s skull, closing the lid.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-52541027140078295092007-01-21T20:37:00.002-08:002007-01-21T20:38:34.257-08:00

12.2.06 Walking in circles… THREE

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-88993429677938031802007-01-21T20:37:00.001-08:002007-01-22T12:39:26.522-08:00

12.1.06Enter ATLAS, upside down.ATLASNEVER KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUNEVER KNOW HOW MUCH I CAREWHEN YOU PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND MEI GET A FEVER THAT’S SO HARD TO BEAREnter CHORUS, one by one…ATLASYOU GIVE ME FEVER WHEN YOU KISS MEFEVER WHEN YOU HOLD ME TIGHTFEVER IN THE MORNINGFEVER ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT.EVERYBODY’S GOT THE FEVERTHAT IS SOMETHING YOU ALL KNOWFEVER ISN’T SUCH A NEW THINGFEVER STARTED

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-81819386978480120112007-01-21T20:36:00.000-08:002007-01-21T20:37:11.711-08:00

11.30.06 IN THE DARK A Door creaks open and slams closed Steps A glass breaks “Shit” Crunchy, glass-filled steps A chair gets moved A bottle is uncorked Liquor is poured Ice added Gulps A satisfied breath Gulps More liquor poured The chair squeaks as it bears weight Shoes are kicked off Socks are pulled off A gulp A belch A deep sigh A fart

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-59645372901205550252007-01-21T20:35:00.000-08:002007-01-21T20:36:11.876-08:00

11.29.06 One or the Other unseen by the audience. DOCTORVitals are good. Temperature is reasonable. BP is right on. Immune system is back up to snuff. I think we can officially call this whole procedure a success. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and say it. This has been a complete success. INVISIBLEI’m chilly. DOCTORWe can have you put on some clothes in a moment. For now I need to

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-29877129299028158692007-01-21T20:34:00.000-08:002007-01-21T20:35:28.958-08:00

11.28.06An aged oak table, with a half filled bottle of whiskey. Enter MERLE. He produces a dried flower and carefully places it in the bottle. He is alone. MERLEIn the name of the father and the son and the holy spirit, amen. Lord. It’s been a good year for a lot of us. Jake down there at the auto shop says business is steady. Says a bunch of the town’s beaters are finally starting to break

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-20989102997850261712007-01-21T20:33:00.000-08:002007-01-21T20:34:16.661-08:00

11.27.06 11111Pi-Zi-Ca-To (repeated indefinitely) 22222Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaygaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahtooooooooooooooooooooh 33333TremoloTremoloTremoloTremoloTremoloTremoloTremoloTremoloTremoloTremolo 22222 & 33333Pi-Zi-Ca-To Pi-Zi-Ca-To Pi-Zi-Ca-To Pi-Zi-Ca-To Pi-Zi-Ca-To

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-79593616246501663962007-01-21T20:32:00.000-08:002007-01-22T12:41:32.477-08:00

11.26.06PART ONE“In”People Gather Merrily.A Bomb Goes Off On Stage.Short Aftermath.Black.PART TWO“Out Jazz”6 performers explore every aspect of their instruments in a palpable amount of time. The remnants of the explosion remain, but fade. Here all narrative is erased, as a story is not the priority. The aim of our 6 performers is to create everything they possibly can using themselves.PART

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-41501449101972115672007-01-21T20:30:00.000-08:002007-01-21T20:31:37.082-08:00

11.25.06 Lights up.VERYSLOWLYAPERFORMERCRAWLSONTOTHESTAGE PERFORMERIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ’ mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-14309863912364849902007-01-21T20:26:00.000-08:002007-01-21T20:30:55.254-08:00

11.24.06 Enter PROSPERO PROSPEROShould I stand here? Or here? Where should I stand? OFFSTAGE VOICEUm, there is fine. PROSPERO Okay. I’ll stand right here. Am I inside my light? OFFSTAGE VOICE Just stand right there. PROSPEROAlright, okay. I’ll just shut up for now. OFFSTAGE VOICECan we get makeup on our Prospero?Um, now? We’re rolling…hey! Where’s makeup? LIZ! LIZ

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1125699027190902182007-01-21T20:25:00.000-08:002007-01-21T20:26:29.085-08:00

11.23.06A large silver dish with a silver cover. The theme from “Seinfeld” plays in the background. Lights up. The cover is removed.A middle aged comedian looks on with fear. Screams.The sound of dozens of hungry turkeys licking their lips. A giant fork and knife descend over the dish. Lights out.Lights up. The comedian, dressed as a stereotypical “Indian” (complete with a single feather and war

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-29332660720271800162007-01-20T19:00:00.000-08:002007-01-20T19:01:33.369-08:00

11.22.06IN THE ASPHODEL MEADOWS. A CHORUS plays and modulates continuously. A CHORUS hums along. CHORUSTODAY IS EVERYDAY-AND EVERY DAY IS HELLTHE SAME The same thing is everything is everything the same? The same damn thing is everything the same? The same old same old

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-46641195435272582012007-01-20T18:41:00.000-08:002007-01-20T19:00:45.777-08:00

11.21.06 A MAD SCIENTIST LAB. Over an intercom we hear: [ONE EGG McMUFFIN] MAD SCIENTISTEGG McMUFFIN!The MAD SCIENTIST brews and bubbles, shocks and jolts, and mixes different colored dry ice concoctions together. In a stunning finale, the MAD SCIENTIST produces: MAD

stephennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-46202908686602511602007-01-20T18:39:00.000-08:002007-01-20T18:40:59.653-08:00

11.20.06 An OLD MAN, with PIPE, sitting in a chair with a nice book. OLD MANOh, why hello there. Didn’t notice you come down to the old reading room. Would you like a cup of coffee? No? well alright then.Settling down in front of my Dickens here. Silly lily-livered chap he was. Good stories though. They

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-64635195014847472692007-01-20T17:43:00.001-08:002007-01-20T17:43:58.059-08:00

11.19.06A WRECH enters and exits across the space with a wagon full of brains, hacking and shouting: WRECHBRAINS FOR SALE. BRAINS FOR SALE. BIG PINK AND CHEAP!

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-89779030039146726772007-01-20T17:42:00.000-08:002007-01-20T17:43:28.939-08:00

11.18.06 GASOLINESo the thought dawned on me when I was stuck in traffic. I was thinking about all the gallons and gallons of gasoline that were being wasted because everybody had to get home in time to watch their favorite television shows. No teamwork, no collaboration. It’s a wonder game theory hasn’t yet been applied to traffic. And

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-8961481740502010112007-01-20T17:41:00.000-08:002007-01-20T17:42:03.045-08:00

11.17.06A single player enters the stage, perhaps in puffy Shakespearian attire. She or he invites the audience to a game of twenty questions. The player mocks those who guess or ask any questions, and storms out in a temper tantrum if the audience guesses correctly: The player was thinking of “a play.”

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-33496951930405330682007-01-20T17:40:00.001-08:002007-01-20T17:40:59.149-08:00

11.16.06A THRONE. The sound of SOUSA FANFARE. A crowd roars. Guards march in followed by UNCLE SAM holding a crown. An AUDIENCE MEMBER, previously selected, is escorted in, and seated on the throne, over which UNCLE SAM holds the crown. An old timey radio announcer: ANNOUNCERPRESENTING FOR TODAY AND TODAY ONLY, PLUCKED FROM YOU, THE

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-57377544711209707902007-01-20T17:39:00.000-08:002007-01-20T17:40:09.506-08:00

11.15.06 Showing off new tattoos ROSEThat’s nice, what made you decide to get it on your hip? FROGEasy to hide, fun to show I guess. I don’t know what I was thinking. HEARTYou don’t like

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-616267199782942212007-01-20T17:38:00.000-08:002007-01-20T17:39:20.317-08:00

11.14.06 OLD GUITARWelcome to the big lonely. Population one. That’s a song I wrote for you once, before you got here. When I was the mayor.Let’s just, why don’t we leave it at that for now?

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-37372509259975158592007-01-20T17:37:00.000-08:002007-01-20T17:38:39.869-08:00

11.13.06 With bottle in hand. After taking a seat with great difficulty.I don’t know what you’re talking aboutI’m perfectly fineI don’t want to go to schoolI know what I’m doing I know what I can handleThirsty is allWhat did you sayI HEARD THATSanta clause DOES NOT existI’ve been lied to my entire lifeOh wellI’m hungryI feel like the champion of the world in a

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1163404902269969612006-11-13T00:01:00.000-08:002007-01-01T15:31:52.120-08:00

11.12.06Total darkness/silence. The audience awaits the play for enough time that their eyes adjust and they almost become uncomfortable. Light tinkery music. The performers enter the space quietly and begin to whisper to one another, audible to the audience. 11111Sad. So sad. 22222Tragic. Terribly tragic. 33333Lost. Completely lost. 11111Scared. Very scared. 22222Worried.

stephennoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1163404867357386262006-11-13T00:00:00.001-08:002006-11-13T00:01:07.356-08:00

11.11.06 A FIGURE with a can of diet cola. FIGUREAfter I finish this delicious beverage, all of the world’s problems will come to an end! The FIGURE shotguns the can of diet cola, belches, smiles.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1163404839341841222006-11-13T00:00:00.000-08:002006-11-13T00:00:39.343-08:00

11.10.06A RANDOM AUDIENCE MEMBER is selected.A FIGURE in a NICE SUIT and WHITE COTTON GLOVES enters, producing and carefully unfolding a nice piece of paper, which he or she reads aloud while standing behind the seated AUDIENCE MEMBER. FIGUREThe contents of [AUDIENCE MEMBER’S] mind to date. Abridged.I’m cold. I’m scared. I’m screaming. Why? Why? Why? I’m hungry. Feed me. I’m sleepy. Don’t

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1163404808334661362006-11-12T23:59:00.000-08:002006-11-13T00:00:08.340-08:00

11.9.06 ONE behind a desk. The OTHER with a ledger. ONEDignity? OTHERYup. ONEHonor? OTHEROh yeah. ONEWisdom? OTHERYup. ONEGoodness? OTHERYou better believe it. ONEOk. What else? OTHERNot much. Do you have any ideas? ONEWhat about a sense of history? OTHERUmm…mmhmm, yeah. ONEReally? OTHERYup. ONEAll of it? OTHERYeah, yes. All of

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1163404735787721402006-11-12T23:58:00.000-08:002006-11-12T23:58:55.790-08:00

11.8.06 Swimming. FLOATHey, Bob. BOBHey, float. FLOATHowya doin’? BOBFine. Well. I’m good. You? FLOATStaying afloat. BOBGood one. FLOATA little hungry though… BOBYeah, me too. I’m always hungry. FLOATTell me about it. BOBWhat are you in the mood for? FLOATFish. You? BOBSame. FLOATOr maybe some bugs… BOBBugs are good. A shadow descends

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1163404703117372032006-11-12T23:57:00.000-08:002006-11-12T23:58:23.116-08:00

11.7.06A LARGE RUBE GOLBERG DEVICE is onstage. A and B stand near it. A gets down on one knee. AWhaddaya say? Do you love me? BHang on one sec.B somehow activates the LARGE RUBE GOLBERG DEVICE. Many bells and whistles are poked, prodded and overturned over the course of quite some time. Some of the elements of the device include any number of the following:BARBIE DOLLSVALENTINESA LARGE

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1163404189747076402006-11-12T23:49:00.000-08:002006-11-12T23:49:49.746-08:00

11.6.06 AESCHYLUS in mask. AESCHYLUSI, AESCHYLUS, COPYWRIGHT TRAGEDY. Perhaps AESCHYLUS gives everyone the finger. AESCHYLUS exits.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1163404135762855192006-11-12T23:48:00.000-08:002006-11-13T01:00:21.866-08:00

11.5.06 GEORGIA eats a sandwich, while watching TELEVISION. TELEVISIONI know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, my golly. The world has spun completely out of control. Maybe those indigenous Mexicans were right when they said the world was going to end in the year 2012. Maybe the world has already ended, and you weren’t one of the lucky ones to be raptured up. Heck, if god was only

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162709298571716612006-11-04T22:47:00.000-08:002006-11-04T22:48:18.576-08:00

11.4.06 A SPEAKER enters and addresses the audience SPEAKERThis is the most boring place in the world right now. Honestly, what are you doing here? You think this is doing any good, coming to this place? You think this is helping the world in any way? Life and death and pain and suffering are going on right now, in the REAL world. But you can sit here somehow and twiddle your thumbs and

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162708961081580212006-11-04T22:42:00.000-08:002006-11-04T22:47:26.493-08:00

11.3.06 MORRISSEY enters. MORRISSEY sighs. MORRISSEY exits.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162700647699268092006-11-04T20:23:00.000-08:002006-11-04T22:46:04.346-08:00

11.2.06The PLARGITE enters. There is an old typewriter atop a wooden desk with all sorts of paper strewn about. The PLARGITE is fittingly dressed. The PLARGITE sits before the typewriter, cracks knuckles and begins to type. An OFFSTAGE VOICE speaks, accompanied by a separate dumbshow. OFFSTAGE VOICEIt was evening at the theatre that Bailey was after. A night of entertainment for his adoring fans

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162700249166323202006-11-04T20:16:00.000-08:002006-11-04T22:44:55.306-08:00

11.1.06 THIRTEEN STRIPES. A LARGE MOUND OF DARK DRY DIRT. The audience is allowed to enter the space. They must remove their shoes before doing so. No food or drink is allowed in the space, but water is provided upon request. There are no conventional chairs, but a comfortable means for the audience to sit on or near the floor is provided. The preshow ends the moment AMBER enters. She is

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162420553469688802006-11-01T14:34:00.000-08:002006-11-01T14:36:13.806-08:00

10.31.06THE AUDIENCE sits in a semicircle on brightly carpeted floor. In the center of the semicircle is a comfortable wooden chair with no arms. Soon the teacher enters, dressed in soft cotton colors and tweed. The teacher puts on glasses and addresses the AUDIENCE. TEACHERToday we’re going to read one of my favorite picture books. This book is called “The Time Traveling Penguin.” It is by

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162420464623612342006-11-01T14:33:00.001-08:002006-11-01T14:34:24.626-08:00

10.30.06A LARGE ROOM with TWO DOORS, one at either end. Audience members are instructed to walk in single file across the room. When they enter, the room is dark, except for light coming from the two doors. As they walk across, warm, amber light pulses in the room, making elements of the room barely visible. In the first few steps, there are various toys strewn about. We hear distant sounds of

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162420425640700792006-11-01T14:33:00.000-08:002006-11-01T14:33:45.640-08:00

10.29.06A LONE PLAYER at a chessboard, facing the audience. The LONE PLAYER has a rook and a king. The audience has only a king. The lone player makes a move and stands up. LONE PLAYERCHECKMATE! Oh, wait, shit…The LONE PLAYER sits down. The move was not checkmate.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162420388825880832006-11-01T14:32:00.000-08:002006-11-01T14:33:08.826-08:00

10.28.06A HUGE GROUP OF PEOPLE stage an imaginary race between a flea, a tick and an Asian beetle that everyone always mistakes for a ladybug. Fans cheer. An announcer and color commentator narrate. Serious money is gambled. The flea wins.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162420353653286342006-11-01T14:28:00.000-08:002006-11-01T14:32:33.660-08:00

10.27.06 “A play is a ritual.A celebration.An encounter.A conversation.An emotional give and take.And it all happens in the mind of the audience.” -Chris Leyva A CONFESSIONAL. Concealed, two voices speak from within. 1Is that honestly the extent of your wrongdoing? 2Yes, father. 1The lord has eyes you know. The lord can see you sinning. 2Yes, father. I know. 1The lord

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1162420123877861192006-11-01T14:27:00.000-08:002006-11-01T14:28:43.893-08:00

10.26.06Walking from offstage on and off again in one direction. Perpendicular lines. Never repeating the action. When 2 walk, they move in parallel. When 4 walk, they form a square. Occasionally elements of a square stop and freeze in place. When 8 walk, all remaining performers walk in a continuous square around the previously frozen performers. This does not necessarily happen before the end

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161984193364042762006-10-27T14:22:00.000-07:002006-10-27T17:01:48.880-07:00

10.25.06 SENSORY DEPRIVATIONNote: The audience may be as few as one person or as many as 100,000INSTRUCTIONS: The coercion device works as such.1.) Blindfold the subject so that they have no visual perception.2.) Place heavy mittens on the hands and tie the arms together.3.) Place a heavy ski mask over the head, with a surgical mask over the

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161984144901515282006-10-27T14:21:00.000-07:002006-10-27T14:22:24.906-07:00

10.24.06“A play has voice and body . It lives in time and space. It is finite and infinite.It has an audience.” -Freedom SpiceVARIOUS PEOPLE come and go from offstage. Every time they reenter, they are a different character. The following monologue is traded off among the VARIOUS PEOPLE. A SLASH (/) denotes when the monologue switches to a new performer. The setting begins in a subway

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161984071755063402006-10-27T14:20:00.000-07:002006-10-27T14:21:11.756-07:00

10.23.06GUITAR stumbles onstage. GUITAR starts strumming. STICKS stumbles on and begins to beat on cardboard boxes and trash. WHISTLE slides onstage and begins a whistle solo. GUITAR and STICKS sing along:GUITAR & STICKS (song)AIN’T GOT NO ADDRESS, AIN’T GOT NO TELEPHONEAIN’T GOT NO KEY FOR MY DOOR, I LIVE ALONEAIN’T GOT NO REASON FOR GOING WHERE I ROAMI KNOW THAT IT IS RANDOMBUT WHEREVER I AM

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161984013242959232006-10-27T14:19:00.000-07:002006-10-27T14:24:11.613-07:00

10.22.06Lights on DINKY DOG scratching, as the WUNDYLAND theme song, a dreamy children's anthem plays:WUNDYLAND THEMEI BELIEVE IN WUNDYLANDWHERE SMILES ARE FREE AND FUN IS GRANDFROM OCEAN WAVES TO DESERT SANDTHE WHOLE WORLD SHOULD BE WUNDYLAND!DINKY DOGCRABS! CRABS! I GOT CRABS! (itches) Gah! (itches) ih! (itches) bwaaaaaa!Do you want to know why I got crabs? Because my coworkers, colleagues and

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161493487280230302006-10-21T22:03:00.001-07:002006-10-26T20:54:58.640-07:00

10.21.06WAGNER MUSIC BLASTS AT AN UNCOMFORTABLY LOUD LEVEL. BOMB BLASTS AND BARBED WIRE. DIRT AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE. A SICK DAWN RISES, REVEALING MORE DEAD BODIES THAN MANY WOULD FIND TASTEFUL. TRENCHES. SOME ARE SOLDIERS, SOME CIVILIANS. SLOWLY, WOUNDED PEOPLE CRAWL THEIR WAY ACROSS THE STAGE/BATTLEFIELD AND OUT OF THE TRENCHES. THEY LEAVE THICK TRAILS OF BLOOD AND ENTRAILS. OCCASIONNALLY PEOPLE

stephennoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161493395908937082006-10-21T22:03:00.000-07:002006-10-21T22:03:34.186-07:00

10.20.06 A slideshow presentation at Barnyard Animal School. *SLIDE* MULEHello.I ab a bule. By parents were a workhorse and a jackass.Apparently this beans I’b sterile. I don’t know what this beans. Sobthing about babies. *SLIDE* MULEI like to load things on by back sobtibes.This is a picture of be with sob hay on by back.Yeah, it’s pretty heavy… *SLIDE* MULEThis one is of be

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161493348084694262006-10-21T22:01:00.000-07:002006-10-21T22:02:28.100-07:00

10.19.06 EDGAR and ABBY at the breakfast table. ABBYI’ve got a chapter meeting tonight at seven, so I won’t be home for dinner. EDGARThat’s ok, I’ll just get some tofurkey at Whole foods. ABBYYou know I wish you wouldn’t shop there, that place is run by Republicans. EDGAROh it is not. ABBYIt is so! They’ve pushed every mom and pop coop out of this town in under two years!

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161158959713051202006-10-18T01:08:00.001-07:002006-10-18T01:09:19.713-07:00

10.17.06CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP.CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAP. CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161158906329049152006-10-18T01:08:00.000-07:002006-10-18T01:08:26.330-07:00

10.16.06A FOOTBALL PLAYER crouches at the line of scrimmage. He gets geared up, but pauses and stands. FOOTBALL PLAYERNever underestimate the flow. You could have the biggest mutherfuckers on the line, the best arm with the sharpest brain and the stickiest mits to catch the damn thing, you disrespect the flow and all bets are off. This one time, I started shooting my mouth off-A huge group

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161158875800748852006-10-18T01:07:00.000-07:002006-10-19T09:56:56.956-07:00

10.15.06 A performer enters with a two-month-old puppy on a leash. Awwwwww…

stephennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161158811191196012006-10-18T01:06:00.000-07:002006-10-18T01:06:51.200-07:00

10.14.06 In bed… AI bought a new ring today. Gold. Do you like it? BSure, it’s very nice. AYeah, it’s the real deal. Got it for a steal, too. Feel it. BSmooth, very nice. Price? ANot telling. BPanda bear… ANo! Balright. AIt’s a gift. BYou bought it for yourself. ANo, I bought it for us. As a declaration of our love and commitment. BAh.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1161158756664273732006-10-18T01:05:00.000-07:002006-10-18T01:05:56.680-07:00

10.13.06A stark room with a simple metal door. Off-center is a simple metal desk with a simple metal chair. Sitting in the chair is MAX, who reads blank transparency paper. Simple futuristic music, meant to elevate mood, plays lightly in the background. One at a time, audience members are escorted through the metal door from a cold dark room. They each face MAX alone, wearing special protective

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1160795588615230952006-10-13T20:12:00.000-07:002006-10-13T20:13:08.626-07:00

10.12.06 A figure, anonymous, stands alone onstage. Tableau. An identical figure enters with what appears to be an enormous erection. The first figure looks at the second. They both look down.They both look up at each other. Tableau.The second figure reaches into a trouser pocket, revealing that the offending sight was a banana all along. Tableau.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1160634728514759662006-10-11T23:31:00.000-07:002006-10-11T23:32:08.546-07:00

10.11.06 Three, in bland one-piece uniform, with worn furniture. 135It’s like waiting for the guillotine, being here… 721Entertainment. What we need is entertainment. 502Yes, it’s positively glum here, isn’t it? 721Yes, glum is the word I was looking for. 502Humdrum would work as well. 721Yes. Humdrum! 502Humdrum…glum…entertainment. Yeah! Well, I have an idea in

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1160600698414881622006-10-11T14:04:00.000-07:002006-10-11T14:17:31.676-07:00

10.10.06NOTE: Italics should be played through a speaker, or vice versa.WALLFLOWER, in a plaid jumper, at an invisible mixer.WALLFLOWERWish mom would come back and pick me up. I don’t feel right at parties like these.Hey Becky! Hey Tommy! How about Ms. Stankowski’s geography class, huh?Asses…They all have pubic hair I bet. I bet they’re all itching with it. I bet.I bet they’re doing it already.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1160550507635992382006-10-11T00:06:00.000-07:002006-10-11T00:14:24.933-07:00

10.9.06 For Di, in honor of her "opposite day" experiment, one of my own. DWToday I was in line at Starbucks, you know, not the one that’s always empty, the good one, that everybody goes to. Well, anyway I was at Starbucks, and I was waiting in line to order my grande triple soy mocha with no whip, when the assmunch ahead of me orders the last drop of soy they have in the store.

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1160550369674248062006-10-11T00:05:00.000-07:002006-10-11T00:06:09.676-07:00

10.8.06This performance is free. There is no charge. The audience members, who all had to do at least something to attend the performance, are ushered into a room filled with card chairs. When they have all taken their seats, the ushers hand them all ping-pong balls, in various colors. With the ping-pong balls, the audience members are also given sharpie markers. They are told to draw little

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1160550301390476472006-10-11T00:04:00.001-07:002006-10-11T00:05:01.393-07:00

10.7.06An older man in a nice suit approaches a desk with the day’s paper on it. He sits and makes himself comfortable. ANCHORAre we ready? You ready? I’m ready. OK. Somewhere from the back we hear a voice count down from five. The voice does not say two or one. The lights become brighter. ANCHORGood evening…The ANCHOR reads the headlining article of the day aloud to the audience. When he

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1160550275326690902006-10-11T00:04:00.000-07:002006-10-11T00:04:35.336-07:00

10.6.06 JO and a flatdaddy. JOThis is stupid.This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.Why did mom give me this?What, she thinks this is some replacement? I’m supposed to pretend this is dad?Does she expect me to talk to this thing?I’m not gonna talk to this thing. I’d rather talk to my dad.In person.Here.Cheap piece of crap flatdaddy. I want my three dimensional daddy.3D and in the

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1160102353707362192006-10-05T19:39:00.000-07:002006-10-06T18:41:45.503-07:00

10.5.06 Rural Illinois. 1952. Night time by the fire.EUNICE and ROD, both knitting……and knitting… Until: RODI don’t think it’s quite sunk in yet.Hasn’t sunk in at all.The engagement. Did you hear that, mum?I said I don’t think the engagement has quite sunk in yet for me. …more knitting… EUNICEI was a bit shocked, myself. Still, good news is good news. RODShocked doesn’t begin

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1160095106898799392006-10-05T17:37:00.000-07:002006-10-05T17:38:26.913-07:00

10.4.06 Lights up on: A TABLE. Upon which: OLD USED LIPSTICK A GREEN APPLE PRESERVED VALENTINES A SPANISH/ENGLISH DICTIONARY These items converse. Then: LIPSTICK MAKES THE APPLE WEEP. THE VALENTINES AREN’T IN SPANISH. THE TABLE BECOMES A BED. LIPTSTICK AND APPLE MAKE LOVE. THE DICTIONARY EATS THE VALENTINES. Music. The BED speaks: BEDI’ve seen it all

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159991930812881302006-10-04T12:54:00.000-07:002006-10-04T15:26:37.633-07:00

10.3.06for ivan the terribleA LIFE RAFT, tattered, at sea. Writing…VOYAGEURDay 26. I still am lost at sea.Without a drop of water left to drink,I doubt that I will live much longer now.Some sharks have started at surrounding me,If I dive in the end comes soon I think.If I linger longer: what good is that?Thinking of Martha.Thinking of George.Thinking of gogo and didi.Last words.I’m not thirsty

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159939807286718112006-10-03T22:29:00.000-07:002006-10-04T02:38:17.926-07:00

10.2.06The AUDIENCE is given a program with a libretto. There are no instructions, simply the text that is provided below. They are asked to leave their seats, but to leave articles and objects behind that will make them recognize which seat belonged to whom. The USHERS guide the AUDIENCE to the stage, facing the empty seats, as gently as though they were old and feeble. If audience members

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159761544078983442006-10-01T20:58:00.000-07:002006-10-02T06:48:40.386-07:00

10.1.06An ACTUAL parking lot. The audience arrives and is guided by ushers, who go out of their way to be friendly and accommodating. Eventually, when the entire audience arrives, they are made to wait for five to ten minutes. During this time, the ushers reassure the audience, and mention slight technical “irregularities.” They make comments about how “these sorts of things do not always go as

stephennoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159716144861403262006-10-01T08:22:00.000-07:002006-10-01T08:22:24.880-07:00

9.30.06A scary old man steals the stage. During the proceeding monologue, a ratty puppet show. STORYTELLEROnce I knew a young boy from Limerick who walked to Chicago from Cork. Slick, as he called hisself (his real name was Ralph) was brimming with gimmicks and magic. Back then he wasn’t an immigrant: he was a slave (he’d say) to the ignorant. He worked horrible jobs pandering to yobs,

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159665733882463002006-09-30T18:21:00.000-07:002006-09-30T18:22:13.896-07:00

9.29.06NOTE: All dialogue is meant to be performed in an entirely invented language. DO NOT speak the dialogue as written, but, rather, invent a new language using speech, movement or action, and translate the play accordingly. 111Hey. HEY! LOOK AT ME. OVER HERE! I WANT YOUR ATTENTION. 222What, what is it? 111I want attention. I’m lonely. 222Well, I don’t care. Go bug someone

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159598562777410262006-09-29T23:42:00.000-07:002006-09-29T23:42:42.786-07:00

9.28.06 NOTE: This should be performed over the course of six minutes – NO LESS! Hiding in the bushes… CHRIS… … … …careful…caaaaaaaaareful… KRISWait…Wait wait wait… CHRISCarefulllllll…..carrrrrrrrrrrrrrful… KRIS…waitwaitwait… CHRIS…careful… …ccccccccccareful… KRIS…wait……waitwait……waitwaitwait…NOW! CHRISGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!!!!!THE ROOM FILLS WITH LIGHT! KRIS and CHRIS

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159583221162715182006-09-29T19:26:00.000-07:002006-09-29T19:27:01.186-07:00

9.27.06A flicker on the stage, from an old projector. A creaky, out of tune piano strikes a sweeping old-time chord. Lights up on an office desk, a bed, and a bar. Enter the TRAMP, who strolls up casually to the desk and rings a bell (the sound of which is performed by the pianist). After a moment of impatient waiting, enter the VAMP. The TRAMP is taken aback by and instantly attracted to the

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159559700862891242006-09-29T12:54:00.000-07:002006-09-29T12:55:00.863-07:00

9.26.06 Drunk. Loud. Dark. DAVELarry? LARRYYeah, Dave? DAVE… LARRYYes, Dave? DAVEC’mere, I want to tell you a secret. LARRYOkay. A drunken pause. LARRYOkay, I’m here. Shoot. DAVELife… LARRY…Yeah, Dave? DAVE…Life is good. LARRYThat’s all? DAVEYes. It dawns on LARRY. DAVENo, wait. There’s more. LARRYYeah? DAVEHappiness. That’s the

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159559107252045672006-09-29T12:44:00.000-07:002006-09-29T12:45:07.266-07:00

9.25.06A white man, smartly dressed in clothes that imply authority, calmly enters and commands attention from the audience. MANHello, thank you all for coming tonight. It is a pleasure to meet you all, and I must say that I am better for it. However, we’ve decided that we no longer wish to accommodate you. Unfortunately this means that we will have to ask you to leave. Please leave. Do not

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159480626741707752006-09-28T14:38:00.000-07:002006-09-28T14:57:07.073-07:00

9.24.06A phonograph, “A Change in the Weather,” old and scratchy, plays. DUSTIN enters wearing a top hat and waistcoat. JESSEOh, I didn’t ever expect to see you again. DUSTINNo, I couldn’t ever leave. JESSEWell, sit down, have a drink. DUSTINI’ve been gone nine minutes. JESSEHave a drink, make yourself at home. DUSTINI don’t drink anymore. JESSEYou’ve been gone for 4

stephennoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19888220.post-1159077388761230222006-09-23T22:56:00.000-07:002006-09-28T14:06:19.643-07:00

9.23.06 CHORUSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHGHHHHHHUHHGHGHHGHGHHGHGHHHUUUUUUUUUUHGHGHGHGHUUUUUUUUUUUUHGHHGHHHGGGHUUUUGHGHGHGHGHGHGUGUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHUUHHHHHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHUHUHUHUHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUHGGHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWEWWWWWEEWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIHIHIIIIHHHHIIIIIIHHH IH IH IH IHHHHHHHHI IH IH IH HHH IH IH HHHHHHH IH IH IH IH

stephennoreply@blogger.com1